11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
