you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I currently don't understand fingers.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
