no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
so much tequila, so little girl.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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