i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
