I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
