btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
