We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize