Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
