just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
