I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
