i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
