i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
