i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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