i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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