I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
This is my gift to your gina
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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