FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize
