did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
it was like eating out sand paper
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
