you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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