Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
