I'm drive I can fine osifer
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
