either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
