I can't watch pbs sober anymore
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize