You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
