No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
