it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
