just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
