they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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