some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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