p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
