Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It's rum buckets o'clock
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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