He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
