he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Panties = found
Randomize
