this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
