Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
