I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You dont lie about slip and slides
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
