Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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