Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
