he told me I talked like a deaf person
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
