don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just pee around me
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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