I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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