just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
