Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
