you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
