Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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