his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's official drugs can't kill me
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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