I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
a search helicopter?!
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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