I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize