Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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