Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize