i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
