I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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