Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
