arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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