and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
