i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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