I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
