i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
