did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize