I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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