theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
