Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
