somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
