he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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