How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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