just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
