Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
This is my gift to your gina
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
