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• (248): View more from Michigan

  he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury

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• (858): View more from California

  last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"

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• (813): View more from Florida

  If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks

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• (478): View more from Georgia

  You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"

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• (707): View more from California

  I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  ... I threw up in the shower this morning

  (406): View more from Montana

  You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future 

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed

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