Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
