I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
