At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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