Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
